My weight loss journey

I have a roller coaster challenges with my weight gain and loss cycle since the past 5 years. Currently overweight (BMI more than 25), and need to urgently loose weight due to my knee problems. It all started when I completed my master degree. The transition of being an MO to clinical specialist saw me gaining an exorbitant amount of 10 kg! This was mainly due to reduce activities associated with being a specialist (I do not need to run around the hospital during on call), and reducing BMR associated with increasing age. I was still complacent at that time, as my BMI is still within normal limit. But all went to ashes when I started my PhD degree. Sitting infront of computers for hours didn't help me to burn calories. In addition to food binge associated with stress and reducing BMR associated with age, saw me increased another 10 kg! Then, I started to have knee pain. My knee couldn't hold my weight anymore. I couldn't continue on like this, or else I will need a TKR in 10 years time. From then on started my roller coaster journey of weight loss. My first experience of weight loss attempt saw me consuming protein shakes. I also enrolled myself into swimming classes 3x per week, and enroute to class, I need to cycle for 5 km to and fro the swimming class. I was happy when I started to loose weight, initially 10kg loss & everybody was commenting how good I look. But then, the weight loss becomes a bit drastic, I lost another 7 kg in a matter of few months (total loss 17kg), and I started to have symptoms of tachycardia, loose stool, heat intolerance etc that prompt me to believe that I have hyperthyroidism. And true to my suspicion, I did have hyperthyroidism with thyroid level almost 3 times normal. Due to this, I need to take medication to control my symptoms. And true to my expectation, as soon as my thyroid level normalises, I started to gain weight. And the fact that I have food binge for a few months after being back in Malaysia didn't help. My weight increased to beyond overweight, and my knee pain started again.

2017 it is

My daughter asked about the existence of this blog, which prompt me to read back all my previous postings. Nostalgic indeed when reading the challenges that I have gone through completing my PhD. It will always become a bittersweet memories. And this lead us to start blogging again, as it will indeed become a memories for the future.

The end or the beginning?

Life is short. Dunya is short. Reevaluate your priorities.

What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.

T. S. Eliot

Thyroid and emotional disturbances

Not sure whether there is a correlation. It swings today, to the bad side, affecting others. Then, life changing experience occurs....life changing indeed, compounding my insecurities...forever, can i still blame the event that occurs 30 years ago? The insecurities...o Allah, forgive me...to those affected, forgive me

Dear self, I miss this port of unloading myself, I miss this dearly...

I am not sure what I am feeling right now, but it is not of a happy mode. It is wrong for me as a muslim to say that I am depressed. But I feel really down today. It is a feeling compounded by the uncertainty on what is the future. My patience of waiting for feedback from my supervisor has been running out. Ya Allah help me, assist me, only to You I turn. The bad2 feeling keep coming back. The dream, the expectation, the future.....i can cry anytime, but I need to always remember the good things that have been bestowed on me....

The Ocean of This Dunia

…we/you are all in the ocean of this duniya; if you panic or have anxiety about things or situations, you will drown. Just RELAX, and you will float because you are in good hands!…. [Paraphrased]

Relax, Azrina...don't worry to much, or you will drown. Leave everything to Allah....you have tried the best...ketenangan, kebergantungan kepada Allah....