Trial

Over my new toy!

It's not a rocket science

Why is it I am so negative these days???????????

:(

Am so :(
Am so worried
Am so negative...like the weather....

Ya Allah guide me....

On a positive note....for my own motivation

Canada Place, Vancouver

Doa

I need motivation, perseverance, and guidance to continue with this....Ya Allah helps me in this quest of knowledge, bless our path, ease it....ameen

2nd major earthquake in 6 months

A second major earthquake struck again on the 22nd February 2011. This time it occured in midday, and consequently caused more damage with fatalities, 185 died...... I was on the 3rd floor in my office when it happened. Eventhough the magnitude was lesser than before (RS 6.3 compared to 7.1), it resulted in more violent shake because the epicentre was shallow at 5km. It was indeed very unnerving, but alhamdulillah the experience of dealing with the first quake really helped....the building was immediately evacuated, and I walked all the way home to my family. Alhamdulillah we are fortunate, no one immediate to us was injured and damage to our belongings was limited. However, the quake resulted in major damage to our office building, it is currently yellow-stickered and need at least 4 to 8 weeks for repair and remedial work. Until then, I need to work from home as the university is unable to provide other office or temporary place for us due to extensive damage to other university's building as well. My main PhD study is also currently withheld until further notice from our clinical collaborators. Since I am still in the early part of my 2nd year, it is difficult for me to foresee the extent of disruption of my study due to the quake. My PhD is progressing well up to the point of the quake. Since then, it is difficult for us to recommence to 'normality' since we need to work from home with its challenges. Up until now, 3-weeks has passed, with many more uncertain weeks to come....fortunately we are fully being supported by many, may Allah ease the future path for us with the intention of knowledge seeking...We are indeed blessed, there are so many rahmah and rezq from Allah during this time. Hearing and seeing a major quake and tsunami in Japan really make us insaf...the ujian is pretty small comparing to theirs. Quoting my supervisor's word of advice, we are left with 2 options: leave or stay, however staying here and making an effort to resume to normality makes us more resilient. We cannot leave or run from anything...tornado, flood, hurricane, quake, tsunami, crime, MVA can struck anywhere anytime, everything has been pre-ordained by Allah, nothing can change that.... Leaving Christchurch and leaving my PhD halfway is not an option. My progress over the past 3 weeks although slow, has shown some positive outcome. Allah's rezq to us increased...a letter to editor and a journal paper written by my supervisor (with me as a second editor) were accepted for publication, a journal paper that I am writing has been approved for submission (albeit a last minute hiccough...still waiting for feedback from another author....sabr, may Allah ease this)....a good news about my promotion was delivered, financial aid from my employer and another source were received....masyaAllah, there are so many blessing from Allah swt....I am here to stay with the niah of knowledge seeking, may Allah guide us and blessed our journey...ameen

I have been blessed

I have been blessed with so many things in this world....thank you Allah. Syukur alhamdulillah, my PhD review went unexpectedly extremely well, my supervisors and PhD committee board have rated my progress as 'outstanding'. I just could not believe my ears when hearing this, I guess I should be relieved and happy, alhamdulillah berkat doa suami n mak, ini menjadi kenyataan. But why am I still not satisfied with my work yet, am I a really perfectionist person? I am tired of this great expectation that I put myself into...can't I just become ordinary? Why do I need to push myself to the extreme.....if only I could do the same things towards my ibadah for the hereafter......can this pencarian ilmu be considered as an ibadah? It all depends on the niat........what is my niat then?