Doa

I need motivation, perseverance, and guidance to continue with this....Ya Allah helps me in this quest of knowledge, bless our path, ease it....ameen

2nd major earthquake in 6 months

A second major earthquake struck again on the 22nd February 2011. This time it occured in midday, and consequently caused more damage with fatalities, 185 died...... I was on the 3rd floor in my office when it happened. Eventhough the magnitude was lesser than before (RS 6.3 compared to 7.1), it resulted in more violent shake because the epicentre was shallow at 5km. It was indeed very unnerving, but alhamdulillah the experience of dealing with the first quake really helped....the building was immediately evacuated, and I walked all the way home to my family. Alhamdulillah we are fortunate, no one immediate to us was injured and damage to our belongings was limited. However, the quake resulted in major damage to our office building, it is currently yellow-stickered and need at least 4 to 8 weeks for repair and remedial work. Until then, I need to work from home as the university is unable to provide other office or temporary place for us due to extensive damage to other university's building as well. My main PhD study is also currently withheld until further notice from our clinical collaborators. Since I am still in the early part of my 2nd year, it is difficult for me to foresee the extent of disruption of my study due to the quake. My PhD is progressing well up to the point of the quake. Since then, it is difficult for us to recommence to 'normality' since we need to work from home with its challenges. Up until now, 3-weeks has passed, with many more uncertain weeks to come....fortunately we are fully being supported by many, may Allah ease the future path for us with the intention of knowledge seeking...We are indeed blessed, there are so many rahmah and rezq from Allah during this time. Hearing and seeing a major quake and tsunami in Japan really make us insaf...the ujian is pretty small comparing to theirs. Quoting my supervisor's word of advice, we are left with 2 options: leave or stay, however staying here and making an effort to resume to normality makes us more resilient. We cannot leave or run from anything...tornado, flood, hurricane, quake, tsunami, crime, MVA can struck anywhere anytime, everything has been pre-ordained by Allah, nothing can change that.... Leaving Christchurch and leaving my PhD halfway is not an option. My progress over the past 3 weeks although slow, has shown some positive outcome. Allah's rezq to us increased...a letter to editor and a journal paper written by my supervisor (with me as a second editor) were accepted for publication, a journal paper that I am writing has been approved for submission (albeit a last minute hiccough...still waiting for feedback from another author....sabr, may Allah ease this)....a good news about my promotion was delivered, financial aid from my employer and another source were received....masyaAllah, there are so many blessing from Allah swt....I am here to stay with the niah of knowledge seeking, may Allah guide us and blessed our journey...ameen

I have been blessed

I have been blessed with so many things in this world....thank you Allah. Syukur alhamdulillah, my PhD review went unexpectedly extremely well, my supervisors and PhD committee board have rated my progress as 'outstanding'. I just could not believe my ears when hearing this, I guess I should be relieved and happy, alhamdulillah berkat doa suami n mak, ini menjadi kenyataan. But why am I still not satisfied with my work yet, am I a really perfectionist person? I am tired of this great expectation that I put myself into...can't I just become ordinary? Why do I need to push myself to the extreme.....if only I could do the same things towards my ibadah for the hereafter......can this pencarian ilmu be considered as an ibadah? It all depends on the niat........what is my niat then?

1-year PhD review

Need to prepare a 1 year PhD review....it is due on the 28th January 2011.

1 year on...

data collection 30% of one study completed, only 5% of another study.....still a long way to go,

abstract: 1 submitted (not accepted yet),

journal paper: a 2-paragraph letter published, another paper still under reviewed (after draft number 6), 2 menumpang my sv's (small contribution),

thesis: i am pushing myself to complete literature review by then...i gave myself a dateline and make my sv agree with the dateline, but now only i realize that possibly i couldn't make it....

i hope it goes well, ameen.....

Brick Wall

I am hitting a brick wall, and uncertainty. Uncertain about my progress, uncertain about my future, uncertain if I am heading in the right direction, uncertain in so many things........A brick wall in writing, writing is not easy...it is unexpectedly difficult.

I am demotivated, and this put a halt in the progress of my work, as I have been spending this 'precious' time on others instead of the main reason I am here. I need help to keep myself motivated.....................................Do I just realized that this is not my 'cup of tea'? I knew it before, and I came here to learn, but eversince I came here, I have been questioning myself,and it gets harder each day. Ya Allah, help me in this quest for knowledge.............ameen

NZ quake: Malaysians tell their story

From: http://www.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne+News/Malaysia/Story/A1Story20100905-235608.html

It was the 25th of Ramadhan, my husband had gone to work for his early morning shift. I stayed up that night to do some work following a meeting with my supervisor the evening before. After eating some food for sahur, I was just about to sleep at around 4:30am. Not long after that I heard a loud rumbling noise and suddenly the house was moving violently and a lot of things fall down. I immediately shouted to wake up my daughter and grabbed her. The electricity was cut and we were in darkness.The quake lasted for about 1 minute. In the darkness, I managed to find the house key and immediately opened both doors in view of emergency escape. Few minutes later there was another strong aftershock. I called my husband who was at work, alhamdulillah he was safe, barely missed a cabinet falling over him. Worrying of another large quake, his colleague advised us to hide under a strong table or to go to a doorway if there is another one. A few minutes later, one of our neighbour knocked on our door to find out about us. They offered us candles and advice to store lots of water. They warned us that there will be many aftershocks that could last for a few days.
True to their word, there were more than 30 aftershocks up till now, some was as high as 5.1 Richter scale. Our electricity was restored at around 10am, and we immediately called our family home to inform them of our safety. My neighbour’s chimney collapsed, creating a large hole in their house. According to him, luckily there is a big tree preventing the chimney from falling on our house. We were shocked to see the extent of damage to buildings especially in the central city area. Alhamdulillah, all of our Malaysian friends were safe, some with more damage to their houses and belongings. This traumatic experience still lingered in our mind, reminding us how fragile our life is and remembering Allah’s greatness.From, Dr Azrina Md Ralib & Norhasanin Ahmad University of Otago

13th AACA: A trip to remember

13th AACA Conference: A Trip to Remember
Dr Azrina Md Ralib (IIUM) - Recipient of the JSA-JFSA-WFSA-Baxter Scholarship

I was fortunate indeed to have had the chance to attend the 13th AACA conference in Fukouka, Japan, from 31st May to 6th June 2010. Winning the scholarship sponsored by the JSA-JFSAWFSA- Baxter for young promising anaesthesiologists from developing countries opened opportunities for me to explore Japan and to get acquainted with people from various countries.

My long and arduous trip started on a rainy and cold winter day in Christchurch, New Zealand. I have been in Kiwi land for the past six months for my PhD degree in acute kidney injury (AKI) in the ICU. The chance to get away from my normal routine work and endless literature reviews and to be back to the world of anaesthesiology really gave me fresh new energy. I boarded the Singapore Airline flight, which is my preferred airline for its excellent service. This gave me the chance to meet with other delegates from Malaysia. After a nine hour flight from Christchurch, a six hour transit in Singapore and another six hour flight to Fukuoka, I finally touched down in Japan. At the airport, whilst looking for a taxi, I met Prof Datin Dr Norsidah and Datin Dr Sivasakthi who were staying at the same hotel. Little did I know, they would become my “partner in crime” exploring the city of Fukouka.

Fukuoka is the capital city of Fukuoka Prefecture and is situated on the northern shore of the island of Kyushu. On arrival at our hotel, we were disappointed to be told that we could not check-in before 3.00 pm. To buy time, we decided to explore the city of Fukuoka. Even though I was very tired from the 22 hours journey, the exploration turned out to be an interesting event. We managed to visit the Fukuoka Tower, Fukuoka City Museum, Momochi seaside, Fukuoka Dome and the Robo-square. We also managed to visit the Ohori Park and Fukuoka Castle Ruin on our way back to the hotel. Eventually at 3.00 pm sharp, we were allowed to checkin to our rooms. We attended the opening ceremony and welcome cocktails later in the evening.

The conference started bright and early the next day, with the nice summer breeze of Fukuoka. The first plenary session by Dr Jonathan Moss turned out to be an eye opener for us. The moral is to have the inquisitive mind in our daily clinical work which could lead to a breakthrough in medicine that could improve the quality of life of so many patients, albeit a long and dedicated research effort. A simple research question led Dr Jonathan Moss and his team to a 20-year project, resulting in the development of a much needed antagonist of morphine's peripheral side effects, N-methylnaltrexone (MNTX). Apparently, the drug has been recently approved for clinical usage in Malaysia as well as in other countries.

There were three symposia which ran concurrently covering most of the anaesthetic topics ranging from pain medicine, ICU, cardiac anaesthesia etc. I attended a few symposia that were different and unique such as Manpower in Anaesthesia, Innovations in Anaesthesia and Anaesthesia Education and Simulation amongst other things. During the coffee break, we had a chance to visit the excellent poster presentations, where four out of twenty were from Malaysia. Congratulations to all!

On Day 2, we visited various temples and a shrine near the Gion area, and also the futuristic shopping mall and the Canal City with an amazing waterfront display.

My poster titled "Survey of Knowledge and Practice of Intraoperative Temperature Management" was presented on the fourth day of the conference. On the same day, there was apresentation ceremony for the winners of the JSA-JCSA-WFSA-Baxter Scholarship, where I had the chance to meet with the President, Secretary, and Chairman of Education Committee of the World Federation of the Society of Anaesthesiology (WFSA) and also the Chairman of the Conference, Professor Koji Sumikawa.

The congress banquet was held on the last night of the conference. Surprisingly, there was a variety of halal food prepared for us. It was indeed a lovely and memorable night to remember.

The conference ended on the morning of June the 5th. In the afternoon, I attended the Simulation in Anaesthesia Practice workshop facilitated by three facilitators from Singapore. Even though there were only four participants at the workshop, it was indeed very well delivered with lots of hands-on practice. It is my hope that I can use this training to further improve our highfidelity patients’ simulation (HPS) curriculum for medical undergraduates, and hopefully for future postgraduates later. The trip ended with Sayonara to the Japanese folks, and back to the freezing winter of Christchurch.

DR AZRINA MD RALIB
Christchurch School of Medicine,
University of Otago, 2 Riccarton Avenue,
PO Box 4345, Christchurch 8140, New Zealand