I have been blessed

I have been blessed with so many things in this world....thank you Allah. Syukur alhamdulillah, my PhD review went unexpectedly extremely well, my supervisors and PhD committee board have rated my progress as 'outstanding'. I just could not believe my ears when hearing this, I guess I should be relieved and happy, alhamdulillah berkat doa suami n mak, ini menjadi kenyataan. But why am I still not satisfied with my work yet, am I a really perfectionist person? I am tired of this great expectation that I put myself into...can't I just become ordinary? Why do I need to push myself to the extreme.....if only I could do the same things towards my ibadah for the hereafter......can this pencarian ilmu be considered as an ibadah? It all depends on the niat........what is my niat then?