Life and interpretation

Meaning to write something about life and interpretation, but having a 'word-block'....not in the mood.........hence this change......Love it! I always like to have this artistic handwriting, but I am not artistic enough.....Maybe later will revisit this issue. But at this moment, I am enjoying this blog as a mean to vent myself.......

Oh yeah, it was snowing two days ago...heavily, the heaviest snow fall in 15 years, how it changes the view completely......

Success...happiness....tranquility

As a child, I have been brought up in a family that emphasis on education. Success in education means love, praises, gifts, preferences, and all the good thing that comes with it, and failure equates the other side of it. At least that was what I felt when I was a child. I am grateful to my parents, as if they have not done it, I may not end up being where I am now....and I began to accept it as the way of life throughout my adult life. I was and still am forcing myself to the limit for this.....but having achieved all that, does it equates to happiness and tranquility? AM I HAPPY? I should be, I have been blessed with lots of success in education all throughout the years......but am I really happy to the state of achieving tranquility? What worries me now? The inability to succeed in my PhD quest......again and again this drive is haunting me......Why do I worry so much? Looking back, I began to question what is the true meaning of success. We have succumbed to the society's definition of success, the status quo that we need to achieve....How to get away from this definition that has been deeply imbued in our belief?

Positivism

This morning I have decided to do away from these negative feelings. I am to start this day with positive feelings, and faced all challenges ahead with positive thinking. Anything, everything that happened is the best for us already pre-ordained by ALlah swt, even when we cannot see it at the moment. Husnul Zan is the word (All is well....from the hindustani movie, the 3 idiots, love the show..it really challenges the status quo we put ourselves into). It is easier said than done, it was put into test just after I have said it, looking again at the endless paper and the work which I really think is really under the par for the PhD, I am down again, but reminding myself about this positivism, makes me want to go further. InsyaAllah will try harder again. Never that I imagine this educational journey will stimulate so much of a conflict within myself, it is an upgrading journey, insyaAllah that will eventually makes me into a better person, ameen.